I have a confession to make.
My message for years has been to strive for greatness. But I’ve recently realized that there has been a misguided energy underlying that message.
Anyone who’s read my writing for any length of time knows I have a deep father wound.
The core of that wound is the subconscious belief that I’m not enough. Growing up, nothing I did seemed like it was ever good enough for my dad. No matter how hard I tried, I could never please him.
I know now that he was simply projecting his own wound. I could never be enough for him because he could never be enough for himself. And around and around we go…
(And I want you to know that I love my father deeply and have forgiven him completely. The subconscious baggage from my wound still arises occasionally, but I carry no grudge and harbor no anger towards him. He is a good and noble man who has always had the best intentions.)
My point is this: a light has shined into my consciousness to reveal that my core message has been tainted by my wound. I have been striving for greatness less because it’s a worthy ideal, and more because I haven’t felt good enough.
I have projected my own not good enough energy onto my readers; because we’re not good enough, so the subconscious belief goes, we have to strive to become so.
It’s madness. There is no end to that misguided quest. Laboring under that belief, nothing will ever be good enough. It’s a hamster wheel of undeserved shame.
I still believe in greatness. But I understand it differently now.
There is no need to strive for greatness. We only need to recognize our greatness. And when we truly see our greatness, we will drop everything in our lives that is less than great.
You were born great. You are great. You are enough.
I’m loathe to project, given my recent revelation, but I wonder how universal this not enough wound is. It doesn’t feel unique to me as I look at the human race, not with judgment, but with compassion.
I wonder how much of our materialism, our need to impress, our compromised standards and values because of our addiction to approval, our plastic surgery and credit card debt, comes from the deep, subconscious belief that we are not enough.
It seems like we’re all desperately trying to impress one another. We’re fiercely protective of our vulnerability.
Our conspicuous consumption is a bottomless pit not because we’re bad, selfish people, but rather because we’re trying to fill that bottomless hole in our souls that tells us we are not enough.
Are we so easily triggered and offended by criticism because it touches that fear of not being enough? How much of our drive for achievement, our climbing the corporate ladder is a frantic attempt to feel like we’re enough?
The wound doesn’t just materialize as things we would judge as bad (materialism, vanity, et al). As I’ve admitted in my own life, we also strive to be good, not for the pure, intrinsic desire to be good, but rather to feel like we’re enough — to mask our feeling of inadequacy and to please others.
We are enough. We always have been.
There is nothing we can do or achieve that will ever make us feel like we are enough. The only way to be and feel enough is to accept that it already is and always has been the reality. And when we accept that truth we will stop comparing and judging each other and jockeying for position with each other.
And note how we feel about the word enough — especially in America, the land of limitless abundance. Enough carries a feeling of scarcity, as in good enough, but not quite what we hoped for. Strangely, we associate enough with precisely not being enough. But properly understood, enough is the fullest and richest sense of abundance imaginable.
So here is my new, refined message to the world: You are enough. And enough is enough. In fact, enough is great.